I started this morning by asking Babe what he considered my three worst traits. I knew his first one before he spoke it but since I already talked about sucking at
His second was my inability to handle change and since I have talked about that in almost every post this challenge I think I will leave that one alone too. So he lost, he gets no say in my three worst (spoken of today) traits.
Instead I will start with one from my person. I am not sure if she would say this is my worst one (I will ask her when I see her in a bit) but I know it is one that drives her crazy on occasion. I can't just say things! You see Wally is blunt; like very. She knows this, she embraces it! Me? I am the exact opposite; I try to embrace it. I will talk around something for hours and then say, "you know what I mean?" and make her tell me what it is I have been trying to say. Which for the most part she does but sometimes she is just like, "get to the point. Just say it already!!" I do that when I am nervous, I do it when I tell a story (I can tell some long-winded stories) and I -really!!- do it when I am trying to say something that I am not sure if the words will come out right and I don't want to say the wrong thing and offend/ hurt someone. I do not like stirring the waters!! So if these posts ever seem long-winded and don't make much sense (kind of like this paragraph), well, imagine me biting my lip in nervous anticipation ("you know what I mean?!").
Number two would be one I have dubbed myself because it is the one that leaves me hurt the most. I am learning to realize that I am trusting to a fault. I used to think being so trusting was a good thing. While I still err on the side of believing it is, there are moments where it really trips me up. I used to live with a double pair of rose colored glasses on. The world has made me take off one pair permanently and sometimes I have to put the other pair on the top of my head so that I can see things clearly. It was a hard lesson to learn that some of the people you love the most and are so loyal too just aren't going to be the same for you in return. It stings, it burns and for a while it made me somewhat bitter. It makes me think it is all me, that I am not worth being loyal too. I know that is not really the truth, but it just seems that way. The hardest thing is feeling used and knowing that when people were getting something out of you they loved having you around, but that as soon as there was not much more you could give them then they became more like mere acquaintances. I have started to see this as just differences in people, in personalities, not in a bad way but just as the way things are and that is OK. I just have to learn to trust with eyes wide open.
I am also horribly indecisive (my sister reminded me of this one). This is why you now (kind of) have five worst Melanie traits instead of just three. It is also why I can never pick where to go to dinner. Please just make the decision for me! I am truly a waiters worst nightmare. "So which do you think is better? Can I get it with this instead of that?" Then half the time once I have made up my mind I realize I really wanted to other choice and Babe runs them down before they put the order in. I am sorry (I promise I tip accordingly)! This is not just a food related issue (I spend hours upon hours at Redbox)! It is a life issue! Gah, make up your mind girl!
Now that we have shared some of our worst traits, think about your three best? Which list seemed easier to come up with?!
Indecision and too trusting. me me me! The trusting one can luckily be good too. I mean, wouldn't you rather be too trusting than not trusting enough?
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