No, I can't! Sorry

Day 3 of Jenni's Challenge was things that make us uncomfortable and I think I will start my list of things that make me uncomfortable with this post right here.  I don't like discussing things that make me uncomfortable because, well, they make me uncomfortable (I don't like being uncomfortable).  Starting this blog actually made me a little uncomfortable because I do not like the fear of rejection and I won't lie, I do 'sometimes' care about acceptance and what others think.  My first few blog posts took me ages to actually publish because I literally ennie-meenied over them and if they were "ready".  I have since embraced the publish button and am quite content, even if I am my only follower.  I started this blog as a way to write and share my thoughts and even if it is simply an online journal I will be content in that because it is making me happy and helping me clear my head.

The following are other things that make me cringe:

- Saying no: I suck at saying no, even to things I really don't want to do.  It can make me feel guilty and anxious and I talk in circle trying to explain why I can't do something, be somewhere, help someone.  I think it's the whole fear of rejection thing.  Most of the time I just end up saying, yeah why not?! For reals, it's kind of an issue; along with making a decision.  That goes hand in hand with the discomfort I feel when saying no.  Be an adult, lady! Make a decision. Say no! No, no, no, no, no! See? I can do it.  Ok, now my palms are sweating. 

- Large crowds: Which is a somewhat ironic and new discovery but I have realized large crowds give me the willies.  I LOVE people, I enjoy parties and the occasional night out but get me into an unknown situation with large crowds of people and I have a slight freak out.  For example, don't catch me in a parade in the middle of NYC when I didn't even know there was going to be a parade.  This was when I discovered my discomfort with large crowds.  My reaction? Call my person (who was not in NYC with me) to bombard her with frantic "I'm freaking" nonsense and leave the rest of my group behind (Babe included) as I walked as quickly as I could through said parade trying to get to our destination which, by the way, was closed due to the parade! Oh man, the memories.  Who, in their rational mind, would leave their group behind in that situation? Oh, this girl! It wasn't one of those rationally minded moments.  

- International travel:  I don't know why but this has made me uncomfortable for a long time.  I am trying not to let it stop me from seeing the wonders of this world. 

       *Side-story: On a recent mission trip to Costa Rica, the three girls I was traveling with and myself, were to meet my friends brother at the airport (he heads a mission building wells in CR).  He would be waiting for us outside.  She informs that there would be a LARGE CROWD of people outside this INTERNATIONAL airport and we may not see him right away.  She said to just stick by her and it would be ok and not to freak if we got jostled, pushed etc.  I was in a little bit of a panic mode.  Well, we walked out of the airport and some of their security measures had been changed and the crowd was not as bad as her previous trip and we saw her brother right away.  I don't think I had ever been so glad to see her brother (or maybe anyone for that matter) in my life.  She laughed because I literally said an, "Oh, thank God, there's Blake" prayer as we walked out the doors.  

- Change: Blah, change!! It is a hard thing to feel uncomfortable about because it is unavoidable and happens often.  

- The unexpected: I think the majority of the above can be linked to this one major area that creates discomfort for me.  I think some people call it a fear.  I like to know what to expect!

And just for your enjoyment, if you would like instant cringe worthiness from me check this list
- The sound wet sand makes when you drag your fingers, toes, etc. through it
- Squirrels!! Those buggers FREAK me out.  I have been chased by one, stalked for food by two, and caught in the middle of a squirrel brawl at Sonny's, in which I knew it was only a matter of time before one jumped on my head in crazed attack mode.  That didn't happen, but tears did (the laughing/ freaking kind)
- Birds! Yes, birds.  These are almost as bad as Squirrels but not that bad.  Squirrels are freakin' tree ninjas!
Yes, feel free to think I am completely cray; sometimes I feel that way.  Good day!