June Currently: Books I Am Reading to Listen, Learn and Grow

It's a new month, which means it's time for my favorite linkup with Anne...

To be honest I almost skipped this month. Things feel hard, edges jagged and this link up is one I usually reserve for sharing all the things I am loving. As an enneagram 7 I have a hard time sharing tough things, but I thought, you know what? Each of these is a monthly catch-up (even if just for myself) to look back on and remember where I was and how I was. It felt disingenuous to skip just because I didn't feel like I had a lot of "light" to share, especially given the state of what silence has continued to cost so many. So I am sharing the following exactly where I am; unsure, jumbled up and hurting but open...

{Feeling} An entire mix of emotions. My grandfather passed away this week and though we knew he was tired it has still been hard to process feeling grateful that he is reunited with his bride, while also finding the best way to support my dad after he lost both his parents within 2 months. My heart is feeling heavy with that, but even heavier watching what is going on in the world right now. Everything going on in the US has my brain and heart filled to capacity with both brokenness and hope. I knew that the color of my skin provided me with privilege, but the stories and conversations continuing to fill my feed have shown me that in a new way. There are so many stories that have opened my eyes wide and made me ask myself very hard questions (which I usually tend to avoid doing), but it has been good for me to see the areas in my life where I need to be open to learning and listening. I have been feeling unsure of what to do or how to help, but am beginning to understand that just listening (truly, deeply listening) is a step in a good direction. So many people of color have shared tangible things that we as white people can do to show support and for that I feel grateful! Seeing people take action and stand alongside each other gives me hope!

{Buying} One of the tangible ways shared was to introduce more diversity into the books you read; so many wonderful lists have been shared. Books for kids. Books for adults. As I see new titles mentioned I am saving kids books that I would like to add to a home library someday when we have children, but for now I am making a pledge to personally read more stories written by black authors, with black main characters and books about white privilege and anti-racism. I don't tend to read much outside of fiction, but I am downloading a few of the nonfiction titles on YouTube so that I can keep listening and learning. Here are some of the books I am committing to:

Fiction Titles by Black Authors: A Song of Wraiths and Ruin; On the Come Up
Non-fiction Titles: White Fragility; This Book is Anti-Racist (great illustrations with tangible actions)
Children's Books I'm Adding to my Library: Little Legends Exceptional Men in Black History; Hair Love
Great lists shared for books to read later: The Mom Trotter's List for both kids and adults; EyeSeeMe's Anti-Racist Collection (this is a black owned bookstore and I love their entire site setup- tons of great lists in all categories, with pictures, that make browsing super easy!)

{Craving} Carbs! Ok, so many a little light-heartedness in here after all. I had been trying to avoid carbs, but either its emotional eating or just time for a little treat, but someone please give me all the bread! 

{Discussing} My thoughts on what I am learning with other friends. I actually had a discussion with a close friend of mine today. She asked me what my thoughts were on the protesting and rioting. We were both able to share our viewpoints in a safe space and even while some of those views differed the main takeaway was that it got us talking. I shared some of the voices I have been listening to and am so glad to have found Nicole Walters. Her IGTV feed videos have been really helpful.

What are you listening to and learning during this time?