Lessons I Learned from 6 years of Marriage

Happy Monday! 

Here's to kicking a case of the Mondays away!! 

At the beginning of this month Babe and I celebrated 6 years of husband-and-wifeness! We had a beautiful weekend away in Flo, visiting Manatee Springs State Park. While driving over I shared some of the lessons that I learned over the last six year on Instagram. And because today had a way of bringing those things back to mind I figured I would share them here, because life has a way of reminding you just what is important. Never forget to cherish the people you love and hold them close. So here's to hugs and life and having a tribe of people to walk through it with. So very thankful he is part of mine... 

6 things I've learned over 6 years of marriage

1.) Life needs balance; like someone who sings loud to every song on the radio and someone who doesn't even know the words because he's a melody person or someone who says "hey let's jump out of this tree" and someone else who says "crazy woman, you have to check and see how deep the water is first"

2.) Love and life will change you, but you hold tight and stay grateful because marriage is a commitment to have each other's backs!

3.) Marriage is as much a journey as the rest of life, just enjoy the ride.

4.) Marriage isn't a fairytale... It's better than that; it's real life lived out in all its bittersweet glory.

5.) Babe's answer (aka: be careful what you ask for) You love the person, no matter how much you hate their bad habits

6.) Being a good spouse and knowing how to best care for your partner is a never-ending learning experiment! Someday I will get better at his love language and I will learn to put my cereal bowl in the sink, among other things... 

And with that I am off to Love him by doing the laundry, because today has been hard for him and freshly laundered (and put away// because somehow I can never get this step down) towels, make him smile! Marriage really is an endless learning curve and I'm so thankful he's never given me a grade! 

Any other married folks? 

What lessons have you learned over the years?

#TravelTuesday #2: 7 Tips for a Trip to Greece

Happy Tuesday Folks!! It's the second #TravelTuesday Linkup and I would love to see where you all have been (linkup at end of the post)! In order to ward off the cold Florida weather right now and take a little bit of a further "journey" this week, I figured it was finally time to share our honeymoon trip. This post is a l-o-n-g time coming. 

We got married almost 6 years ago and our honeymoon cruise through Greece and Turkey was a beautiful way to kick-off our married life together! I mean just look at all this beauty...

We spent our first 3 days on the mainland, exploring and eating our way through the city of Athens.

We loved the history of Athens, but we were anxious to get to the islands. After hopping on a boat, we spent the rest of our trip cruising (7 nights) through the Greek Islands, as well as making stops in Turkey (Istanbul and Ephesus).

I am mostly letting the pictures speak for themselves with this post, but if there was any advice I could give, here are a few things I learned from our trip...

1.) ISLAND CRASH! The main reason I wanted to go to Greece was to see Santorini. If we could go back and do it again we would have chosen to spend the 3 nights on the island and then done the cruise from there, which would have had us spending just 1 full day in Athens. Athens was great, but it was also like any major city (just add in the history and the fact that Greece has worked hard to maintain their ruins). When you only stop in Santorini for the 1 day you can't truly experience it. You are only really permitted to walk the main walkway and access down the cliffs, towards the water, isn't permitted unless you are actually staying on the island. I really wanted to jump in the sea from a cliff (yes, for all you Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants lovers, that is where it's from), but alas that didn't get to happen.

2.) DO fly smart: It's a long flight! Get up and walk around some! I did not-- this was bad! I figured I could keep myself asleep and not have totally weird time issues if I just stayed prone and didn't get up. And that theory worked, I pretty much slept the entire plane ride over. However, when getting up to get off the plane my feet felt really strange. They were swollen to the size of whole hams for the first three days of the trip. One, it was scary, and two, it made walking for the entire day really uncomfortable.

3.) DO jump in the Mediterranean Sea!! Seriously, you just have to! And while I may not have gotten to do it from a Santorini Cliff, but I did get to do it from a diving platform. The water will be cold, but man will it be worth it! We did this in Rhodes, where we walked through the ancient city to get to the beach.

4.) DO go to Mykonos! Mykonos was my favorite island on the trip. Santorini might have been, if I could have seen more of it, but Mykonos surprised me. It was stunning and quaint and everything you dream of when you think of a Greek island- plus there was sea glass along the shore line which makes a great, free souvenir from the trip.

5.) DON'T skip out on Turkey! When we were first looking into the trip and I saw the stops for Istanbul and Ephesus I was hesitant and tried to find a trip that didn't include them. I had envisioned only Greece. Having this be my first out of country trip I was nervous to begin with and wanted to know where I was going and the only place I knew and had planned on going was Greece. I am so THANKFUL that I didn't find a trip that worked without including the two stops in Turkey. Outside of Mykonos, the Turkish stops were my favorite! Beat Athens by a long shot! The colors and vibrancy of Istanbul was unexplainable. Ephesus had so much history it was incredible! I mean we got to see where Paul was jailed and where he wrote a lot of letters that became the book of Romans.

6.) DON'T compare a Mediterranean cruise to that of an American cruise! I was the only one out of the 4 of us who had ever been on a cruise (yes, we took another couple on our honeymoon! Yes, this is kind of crazy! But we didn't want our first trip in another country to be alone and we we're glad we went with travel buddies. It helped to calm out travel nerves and big trips like that are just better together in our opinions)! Having nothing to compare it to I assumed all cruises were the same. This is not true. I talked the cruise up like a crazy person, "Free food all the time! Activities at any hour of the night! All sun and shine and beautiful lounging weather when you are cruising from place to place." If you have been on Carnival or Royal Caribbean or any other cruise that leaves from the states then you know what I am talking about. You do not get these amenities on a Mediterranean cruise. At least not ours. Yes, there were 3 square meals a day and there were activities, but it's not the "all access fun pass" that I had been talking up to them. This cruise was more so a main mode of transportation, with some added perks, than it was a floating festivity in and of itself. Plus, it is super windy and kind of chilly when the boat is moving so it is hard to get any good laying out time in. If you manage to get a spot on the back of the boat you can lay there as long as you don't mind a strong breeze, but it's way to much to try to lay anywhere else. It was still great, just don't go in with "cruisin' glory" in mind.

7.) DO just enjoy yourself! Travel is wonderful, but it can also come with it's own stresses, especially out of the country where you are trying to figure things out in a language you don't know. Just take it as it comes and breathe it all in! Have a beautiful time! 

Bonus** HONEYMOONER TIP (another reason we should have started on the island): You will want to rest!! After your wedding you will be tired and you will want time to just relax; to sit in the sun, fall asleep to the sound of the waves and rest. This does not happen on a trip to Greece, where you feel like you will be missing out by not soaking in everything. We were very go, go, go! Greece was my big, out-of-country, bucket list dream so we knew we wanted to go before we really settled down or we would never make it. I am glad we went when we did, because I don't think we would have made that large of a trip if it hadn't been our honeymoon, but I do wish we had taken the beginning of the trip more slowly.

**ANIMALS: There are dogs (and cats) everywhere in Greece! They are friendly, but the ones on the streets are also dirty. Just be warned. Also, a note on the donkeys if you have ever thought of riding them in Greece: scary! Frightfully so, and I am a thrill seeker! So after our harrowing experience riding them to a castle in Lindos, we opted not to do them in Santorini. We rode the bus up and then opted to walk the donkey trail back down. This was also terrifying!! Maybe even more so then riding the donkeys! It is super steep and really easy to slip, as all the rocks were so worn down and smooth from the donkeys walking on them. Avoid the risk and take the bus or the gondola. We didn't want to wait in the line, but I honestly think it would have taken us less time to just wait with how slow we had to go. 

Hope these were helpful!! And that they have you dreaming of your next big adventure! I know I am dreaming of mine, as well as still soaking in the memories from this one! Enjoy a little bit more of the beauty... 

This is the little guy is Petros (Peter) the Pelican and he was the Mykonos welcoming committee, as well as the one wish us bon voyage upon departure. And so, from Peter and myself, farewell for now! Hoping you have the most beautiful of Tuesdays! 

Where have you been adventuring too? 

Gone away, explored your own city... 

I would love to see! Feel free to linkup below! 

~On the 2nd Tuesday of every month I will be sharing a new travel destination and would love to see where you have been exploring! 

~Any linked posts will be pinned under Travel Tuesday on my Pinterest. 

~No real rules, as I am not a huge fan of those sorts of things! Just add your link and I encourage you to peek around and see where everyone else has been. Leave a little love where you like! 

~Feel free to grab the image from the sidebar and add it to your post so others know where to link up. 

Excited explore the globe with you all!!

An InLinkz Link-up

Sunday Currently: Tennessee Road Trip Edition

Linking up for another edition of The Sunday Currently...

Reading: I just finished reading The Gates of Evangeline. It was a recommendation from People magazine and when I found it at the library I had to grab it. I think I finished it in three days. I was hooked and it kept me wanting to read more and more. I hated when I had to put it down. It’s a great book, full of mystery and intrigue. A little spooky even- not scary. You find yourself connecting to the characters, even the protagonist. I also loved that I didn’t call all parts of this book. Though I did call a good portion of it I always love when some of the ending surprises me (in an good way). Any book that can throw a twist my way without outraging me is a good book in my world any day of the week!!

Writing- As of right now, just this. I did finish an article for our church magazine though that I am pretty excited to see in print. This is my second one and each time I do one I still get nervous.  

Listening- to the radio in the car. We road tripped to Tennessee this weekend for my cousins wedding.

Thinking- That I got pretty blessed to have found the perfect road trip partner! He spoils me. He packs the car early in the morning, wakes me at 5am so that all I have to do is stumble to the car and fall back asleep while he drives. Waking up to his bearded face, driving in the sunshiney morning makes me smile a lot. Even when he tells me I look a hot mess after I pull my head out from under my blanket, maybe especially when! Love is all about being open and honest right?! (P.S. I called him pretty).

Smelling- My coffee and the crisp Fall weather outside my window.

Wishing- That we could stay in Tennessee a little longer and continue to watch the leaves change colors, while spending time with family on the porch. Tennessee is my happy place and some of my very favorite people live there. Back to Florida it is though. That’s pretty happy too I guess!

Hoping- That the cooler Florida weather continues to stick around. It was so nice before we left and apparently is supposed to be even cooler when we get home!!

Wearing- T-shirt, shorts and bare feet on the dashboard, my go to road trip attire!

Loving- All the time in the car this weekend! Time in the car with just my Babe, a book or two and the tunes on the radio is total perfection to me. So two full days in the car for a one day wedding is right up my alley! 

Wanting- To be super productive this week! I worked on cleaning out the house all last weekend to prepare for a garage sale we are having on Friday. It was time to purge, A LOT! So I am hoping to go through the house again this week and get rid of at least two more boxes of stuff. Getting rid of stuff is usually really hard for me, but I have felt this need for simplicity recently so it is time for it all the just GO! 

Needing- To see my sister and my sweet nephew baby! I feel like life is so much more hectic then when all my other nieces and nephews were born. I was younger and it just seemed easier to carve out time to meet up. But life being busy doesn’t mean I can’t be more intentional about finding time to visit. Babies grow so quick and I want to cover him in kisses before he is old enough to not want as many!

Feeling- At peace. Car rides do that for me. I think it’s also the reason Flo makes me so happy. I just feel at peace on the road, there’s not much you can worry about focusing on in the car. You don’t have connection really to anything except your destination and the person sitting next to you. Glorious I tell ya!!

Clicking- Through Instagram and Facebook and Youtube videos- my dad and the guys at Mind, Body and Soul have a new video they just posted for their recovery race. I’m pretty proud of them, that’s for sure! My daddy, he’s the handsome man at the end of the video, with the big heart and a story of fight and redemption.

What are is your Sunday looking like currently?

Words for Wednesday: Babe Edition

In honor of yesterday's anniversary reflections today's quotes are all about the guy I'm thankful to have spent the last 5 years married to. I am thankful that he shows me what love looks like with his actions just as much as, if not more than, his words. And I am thankful that he knows me inside and out and that he knew that I could never be a steady, stationary thing. I am beyond grateful that he never tried to "clip my wings" and instead watches me as a fly, standing solid and steady. The ever present homing signal I need to always know the way back home. 

The Strangers in Our Portrait

It's the story of high school sweethearts. They meet, they manage to survive 5 years of dating and then somehow it's 10 years from when it all started and they have now been married for 5 years. 5 years and 11 days. It's the story of a girl who fell in love her Senior year of high school, but it's also the story of a girl who sees strangers in her portraits. There is so much "they" don't tell you about marrying a guy you meet in high school (or maybe even just marriage in general). People "awww" you and they smile. And it is cute, sometimes. But then you realize the reality of it. You realize that in reality you are not only married to a stranger, you are a stranger to yourself. 

I look up at our mantle. At the portrait taken during our engagement shoot. A portrait taken when I was 22 and he was 25. It's a portrait of people who have no idea who we are. They no nothing of the 5 years that will reshape everything they are. They no nothing about the people that will stare at them 5 years from that moment and think, "oh, if only you knew." 

When I think about the people we were in that portrait I have to laugh a little. I think about how bright-eyed they were. I think about how willingly they were jumping into a life they thought would be tied up in a pretty bow. Part of me envies them; I am happy for their youthful ignorance. The other part of me is thankful; thankful for the tough seasons of life that have changed who they are. Even if it made us strangers. Maybe even because it did. 

They girl in the portrait? She was so sure of herself, sure that she knew what she wanted out of life. Sure that being a wife wasn't going to be much different than being a girlfriend, sure that it was just a means to getting to become a mom someday soon. The stranger she has now become is less sure of what the future will look like. The girl in the portrait would be shocked to know that the stranger staring at her is ok with that. This stranger is glad to not have rushed into motherhood. She has learned that being a wife is just as important. She is thankful for years that have taught her that her husband should be a priority (even if she still often forgets). She is thankful for years that have taught her what being an adult looks like (even if she often still feels ill-prepared for it all). The stranger she has now become has a different picture in her mind of what her family will look like; maybe some children will be biological, maybe some will be adopted, maybe some will come into her life for only a season. And while the uncertainty of it all is sometimes frightening she is open to the way God will paint it for her, not the way the girl in the picture would have painted it for herself. 

The boy in the portrait? He is steady and stable. He is sure about the girl in his arms, but he is unsure about her eagerness to rush so quickly from one stage of life to the next. He is the voice that says slow down, take some time to just be us. He is still that; still the steady voice she hears. But he has grown more sure of himself, more sure of the what it means to rest in the grace of what God is doing. He laughs more at the woman he is now married to and knows more about what it means to be married to a dreamer. He is more solid in the way he moves around her, how he lets her dream while still keeping her grounded. 

The girl in the portrait never would have thought that her late twenties would be so vastly different than her early ones. She never would have imagined of how much life could fit into the span of 5 years (or even two). And she would never have believed the amount of wrinkles that skin can acquire so quickly (it's true what they say girls, start preventing early). The stranger she has now become loves the girl in the portrait. She loves her, but she is also learning to say goodbye to her. Just like she is sure that the stranger she will be 5 years from now will be learning to say goodbye to who she is today. 

And she is excited; she is excited about learning to love that new stranger too. She is excited about the many strangers she will get to meet over the course of her marriage; the stranger she shares a bed with each night and the one she sees when she looks in the mirror each morning. 

The Words of Others

Sometimes, often a lot of times, there are words that belong to other people that seem to speak to your heart better than your own words could. It's as if they say all the things your heart has been trying to transmit to your brain, the words that get stuck and jumbled between the feelings that are mixed into them. After posting on Monday, and reading through it again on Tuesday, I remembered a post I read quite a few months back on Ann Voskamp's blog, A Holy Experience. I love her blog posts, but this was one that had touched me and that would constantly pop back into my head from time to time. It was her words that first had me wondering about what it meant to be married to a stranger... 

"Everyone always marry wrong.

Because what’s wrong in the world is always us.

Marriage and love and time, these are the enormous forces that inevitably chisel and change us into strangers. The springs sag. Mattresses sigh. Marriage changes us into strangers who have to meet again and introduce each other to love."

and it was her words that encouraged my heart and my marriage in all it's "boring" love ways. 

I was laying here, watching My Fair Lady and scrolling through posts and I opened the link and the rest of the world faded away. I thought I would share it with you, because as I was reading it (again) I found myself in awe at the way her words reached places hidden deep in the far corners of thoughts. Maybe they will do the same for you. 

This is a beautiful post and I hope you find the same encouragement in it that I do! 

The Stranger I Married: The UnDisney Side of It All

If you read this post then you know that I found it humorous, the things I didn't know about the man I am married to. But I have also been thinking about the other things I don't know, or else no longer know, about him. I love all of him. Each facet of what makes him the man he is. And yet, there are things I don't know. There are things I don't know because time has made us strangers. This may sound wrong, this may sound distant, but it isn't. It is more than that and it is less than that, too. 

We are close; right now, we are closer than we have been in a very long time. We are close because we have poured into the people we have become, these new people with the same faces, though wrinkled some with the weight of the world. Marriage is not the beginning of a life with one person. It is the beginning of a commitment, to love one person with all the that they were, all that they are and all that they will come to be. 

And sometimes that will mean loving someone that is, in some ways, vastly different than the person you said "I do" to. I know this because when I compare my own face in the mirror to the face in the picture that adorns my mantle -the one of a 23 year old girl with the world at her fingertips- I see a stranger. I see someone that I myself am still learning to understand. I had so many questions about who I have become in my late 20s. That meant he had to have questions too right? They were the questions we were too scared to ask. Questions that when finally spoken out loud leave you hanging on to each decibel of speech that follows it.

Life has a way of doing that. Of making you scared to ask the questions that are begging for escape. The ones that whisper in the darkness... 

Are you really ok? Why do we keep waiting? Are you just as scared as I am? Do we want the same things we wanted five years ago? What are your dreams now? Where does life go from here? Where do we? 

Death, birth, trials, joy... they all have a way of chipping away pieces of your heart and adding others into new places. Your heart comes out changed; with holes where there had been beating flesh, mountains where there had been nothing. Pumping to a different rhythm, setting a tune for a new version of who you are from that point forward, until something comes along that will reshape it again. 

And so, in the wake, in the stillness between those moments you work to get to know the stranger you have married. You work to get to know the stranger in the mirror. 

And you get to fall in love -with both of them- all over again.

Wedding Weekend Peekin'

My brother got married this past weekend! It was a beautiful (early) sunrise wedding. It was simple and elegant and sweet. It was also Father's Day. A day to celebrate the fabulous fathers and father figures in our lives and to remember those who couldn't be with us. It made for a wonderful weekend. Here's just a little peek at the festivities. 

1.)  My baby brother is a married man! This is crazy to me. He was just this scrawny little kids the other day, right?!

 2.)  Oh my family! Bless them; myself included! But mostly, bless the sweet, docile girl kissing my brother. She may have some idea what she is has gotten herself into, but probably not all that is in-store. Welcome to the crazy clan Katie!!

  3.)  Oh, this picture and how we tried to get one with all smiling children! I guess this is more fitting anyways. It may be note worthy to know that we never got the smiling picture, but just one “make a crazy face” picture and we were set! It’s just how we roll.

4.)  My daddy! God love him! I couldn’t be more honored to be this man’s daughter. He inspires me, believes in me and taught me how to be loved. I am quite fond oh him! I am proud of his strength, his vulnerability and his drive. 

 

5.)  Beach weddings- I think they are great! Especially with children involved. The day went so smoothly. And while we are not typically an early morning family, we were all up and there and not in our pjs (I must say I was a tad worried) in time for a sunrise wedding.

I mean, really?! It doesn't get much better for a flower girl when you can attend the rehearsal wrapped up in a beach towel and get to draw on the windows with water and a mulch paintbrush during the reception! 

Disney Dreams and Ugly Crys

Day 31 people! We made it!! This challenge was definitely an undertaking. It was a crash course for me in the world of blogging but I have enjoyed it.  It challenged me, opened me and brought me to many great new reads. I have loved following along with so many of you. 

Today we are to share a vivid memory and as I look back through my memory bank I realize that a lot of my big moments get somewhat blurry. I have flashes of vivid moments, some I will always cherish and some that I would rather forget, but for the most part some of the memories get hazy.  My wedding day? A blur! Those moments that have shaped and transformed me seem to have this filter through with which I view them. I think that trying to process all of my surroundings in so many of those moments just became to much for my brain to process and so it compartmentalized them. I can remember a lot of great things about that day but trying to piece it altogether was a process. It if for reasons such as those that I will be forever grateful for cameras. They capture memories and allow us to revisit them in all their vivid glory.  

One day in particular that, while it has its hazy moments too, is most vivid for me would be the day we got engaged. I remember that morning waking up at Animal Kingdom Lodge and knowing yet not knowing at the same time what this day could bring.  I was a wreck of nerves.  It had always been my dream to get engaged at the Magic Kingdom and given the fake out the night before I was assuming this might be the big day. I remember dressing down not wanting to anticipate anything (which in hindsight was dumb dumb because I was a hot and sweaty messy in that shirt but oh well) and leaving the hotel.  We rode the bus to meet my mom at the park so that she could let us in (special pass that only she and my dad can use). She walked halfway down Main Street with us, hugged us both and left (though she didn't want to) and we continued on towards the castle.  And that is when the following began... 

There had been a Photopass man there waiting and called us over to him to ask if we wanted a picture. And then the words began, those I can't really remember but I am sure you can get the gist. All I knew was I have a sweater tied around my waist. My mind says, "you can not have a sweater wrapped around your waist in these pictures!" so I logically untied it a threw it off.  Duh! Because that is so the thought process for a moment like this. 

For some reason I could not unclasp my hands from behind my back. Finally, they decided to unlatch and cooperate so that he could slip the ring onto my finger.  I guess I said yes, that part is kind of blurry. 

At some point I kissed him and there were fireworks. The timing was not planned it was just one of those things. They were part of the show going on at the castle. Those were followed by a street celebration in which they asked any newlyweds or newly engaged couples to come out and dance in the streets. So I did! 

Then we called my mom who came right back. She had wanted to stay and watch because she had her suspicions too but didn't know how to ask Babe if she could stay without me knowing. The following hugs and tears ensued. 

And then I talked to my daddy and that is when the above ugly cry came about. He had known as Andrew had made sure to ask his permission and so we are both crying on the phone.  My mom had not known that he knew, see it is kind of hard to tell her things and still have them stay secrets. 

Then we took some pics and celebrated with this little schemer who was a part of the whole plot.  This is January! She was hiding in the bushes snapping all these pictures and had been waiting for us to show up for two hours.  She is the one who got the Disney Photopass man in on the scheme. 

We then enjoyed our day as a newly engaged couple and sealed the deal with a 'blessing of the rings' from Mickey and Minnie themselves! It was all in all a perfect day and a fabulous memory. Babe had done himself - and my Disney loving heart - good! 

And now I sign off in hopes of seeing many of you on Monday because I will be resting my weary fingers this weekend! Thanks for sticking with me!