I Need Botox!

Hoping this picture of the waters of the Pacific helps bring me some peace before publishing this post...

It's day 16 of the challenge and I was going to go all deep and into big areas of my some of my "lots in life" but since I did some of that in this post here I thought I would go a little lighter. You now get to be let in on a big "secret" of mine. I am sharing this mainly because I am currently sitting with Wally (my person) and her sister and I told them they could pick my lot in life (who ever said trusting your friends was a good idea?!). Now that the issue is the only thing on my mind I probably won't be able to focus enough to write on anything else. So, the following is what you get! Though as I type I am seriously now sweating bullets thinking about posting this. It's not as if people I meet in public don't know that it can happen. On occasion, my "secret" can be pretty noticeable. This is not a secret that I am totally excited about sharing and something I try (in vain) to hide in public. 

I need Botox!! No, it is not what you're thinking (though as this thing called aging seems to increase wrinkles, I may need it in between the eyes soon too).  I need Botox in my armpits! I sweat glisten, A LOT!! It is embarrassing and horrible and total suckage (yes I said suckage).  It goes somewhat hand in hand with the clothes I can and can't wear and the fact that I stick very closely to my comfort zone of "fashion sense".

Though I will probably never get Botox because I have no idea how my body may react to that stuff and I don't want some foreign toxins floating around in my body I consider it all the time.  I have pretty much self diagnosed myself with hyperhydrosis (because I'm a doctor and all that).  Right now I am working to overcome it by the awesome deodorant regiment that I honestly think is just in my head, but hey, it seems to help.  I shower and immediately coat my armpits with three swipes of Clinical Strength Secret and then in the morning when I wake up (or when I dress if I am leaving right after I shower) I coat each pit with 5 swipes of Degree.  Yes, this is a science people and, yes, I do count! When and why and how it seems to happen has no rhyme or reason as one moment all will be perfectly fine and the next moment it's as if someone has turned a faucet on full blast.  I am waiting to try the new Stress Induced Secret stuff.  Fingers crossed that it rocks and drys these puppies up like the Sahara. 

Until I have figured out the exact science for getting this whole thing under wraps I will continue to constantly wear tanks or t-shirts, baby powder those suckers when needed, and learn to embrace the fact that my underarms will always be just a "tad bit" moist.

*As I am sitting here freaking out and reading this post aloud to Wall she asks "Do you feel free now? Maybe, you will feel better the more you share it." Well, here's to hoping I guess.  Right now I am just sweating!

Ten Happy Things for Tuesday

It's day 14 of the blog everyday in May challenge.  Below is a list of things that put the above smile on my face and make me happy!

1.) My friends make me happy.  The ones who, despite knowing all the grizzly details of my life, have stuck by me through thick and thin.

2.) Babe makes me happy. He has this knack for making me smile even while he is pissing me off! He is just this calming, constant force that seems to keep me at peace.

3.) My little people make me very happy!! I could spend all day with them and smile through it all, even the tantrums and the defiance and the dirty diapers (or better yet when they decide to take said diaper off during their nap so that I walk in on a naked bottomed baby asleep with a dirty diaper at the foot of the crib, yes even through that I will smile. I mean how could I not with a face this cute?!).

4.) My family makes me happy, though this one does tend to have its conditions.  Happiness will ensue but so will "pull-my-hair-out, your-making-me-nutso" chaos.  Sometimes chaos seems to make me happy (though not necessarily in the blissful way; more so the familiar-old-friend way). Product of my environment?... I think that might be so.

* If you haven't noticed people make me happy! Sometimes people also frustrated the heck out of me, but I tend to look towards the optimistic when it comes to people, so... happy, people make me happy.

5.) Blogging (and blog people... see more people?!) makes me happy.  I am loving this niche I have found.  This little (or not so little, really) world inside the big world we live in.

6.) BOOKS!! These treasures make me happy.  Content, happy and at peace.  Add a hot bath into the mix and this girl has found herself a little slice of heaven on earth.

7.) Disney makes me happy! I told Babe on our trip that I sometimes think to myself that Disney really isn't the happiness ensueing place I think it is and that I make it happier in my mind when I am not there.  Nope, that's a wrong assumption.  It truly does make me happy and blissful and full of life-loving-gaiety when I am there.  True story! Catch me at Disney and you catch me happy; like kid-in-the-worlds-biggest-candy-shop happy!

8.) Tennessee makes me happy! I don't know what it is but Tennessee has always kind of just been my peaceful, happy place.  Maybe it's the people?! My Tennessee people rock! Life there just seems a little more laid back, a little more at ease, and everyone just seems to take life's punches and let them roll.  They don't really seem to sweat the small stuff.  Maybe it's all a matter of perception or the fact that we go in the summer and life is usually a little different in the summer anyways but Tennessee and it's people?! They know how to live well.  It is the one other place I would live if I didn't live here.

9.) Traveling makes me happy.  Granted this too has it's conditions because if the set-up isn't just so (as in takes place within the U.S. or on a cruise boat and I know where I am going) then I get a little anxious.  Road trips especially excite me! I could road trip it all day as long as I have a good book in my lap (and I'm sitting in the front seat or have had a Bonine, otherwise this traveler is an unhappy mess of car sickness).

10.) Happiness!! Happiness and contentment make me happy.  When I am happy or even just at peace I try to soak it in, fill up my happiness meter like it's a solar panel, because I'm going to need it to call upon when the seas get a little rough.

I loved today's topic. It is nice to think that I could keep going and that the list could do on and on (sunshine, sweet iced tea, fire in the fireplace on a cold night, God, Harry Potter).  It's nice to focus on all the things I have to be happy and thankful for.  My wish for every soul out there is that their list is long and that it grows everyday.

Dear Tidy Man I Married

Today's challenge topic to issue a public apology goes out to my sweet husband in response to a wonderful remark he made not that long ago.  Let me set up the scene a bit.  The laundry (my laundry) that had been cleaned was still sitting on the couch after about a week.  I had laid it out there after it got out of the dryer so it wouldn't wrinkle and ran out the door to go to some unknown location.  Then upon coming home I got busy and forgot all about it.  Babe didn't mention much about it, though I knew he wanted it put away.  My plan was to get it put up before he said anything, I had it scheduled and everything.  Well he got home early on said scheduled day and I had just made it into the living room to start it when he came in (as in I hear his car pull up and ran my behind in there to get started).   You could tell he was relieved to see it being done.  My response, "I'm sorry I suck at life".  He responded with a kiss on my head and an "Oh dear, you don't suck at life... just laundry." So here is my apology to him for sucking at life laundry and overall "wifeish" business.

Dearest Babe,

I apologize for the fact that laundry is something I have never been good at.  I am sorry that this leaves you to do your own because 1.) I tried to do yours once and you said it was ok that you would do it yourself (apparently wrinkles are not part of your laundry standards) and 2.) I only really do my own once a month and you need your clothes cleaned before then.  I am glad I can at least wash your boxers upon occasion as those can sit wrinkled when I forget that the clothes have been sitting in the dryer for a few days. 

I am sorry that the suitcase of clothes from our trip to Disneyland will probably sit unpacked by our bedroom door for days.  I promise to try to get it emptied (and the clothes put away in their proper place) by... Wednesday? Yes, I think Wednesday is a good goal. 

I am sorry that I forget to do things like wash the dishes and mop the floors when they need to be done because I have been busy with blogging and photos and sometimes a good book.  Thank you for bearing with me and pardoning my dust as I learn to do this acts of service thing, as that is your primary love language.

I am sorry that once each month the whole tidying thing gets even worse, need I say completely left by the wayside, as I moan on the couch while you bring me home Advil and reassurances that you love me because I get a little crazy and need the affirmation.

I am sorry that I get frustrated when, after having felt like I spent all day cleaning, you come in and hardly notice.  Mainly because, though I worked all day ("little" breaks of course), it doesn't really look like much was done.  At least not done like you would have done it and its something that should just be done so you don't consider it praise worthy (it isn't really but it's me were talking about).  You wouldn't require thanks for it and don't think about it but since words of affirmation is part of my love language I do and therefore get snippy. Sorry! It's just that getting the counters to shine without streaks is a feat against nature for me and I feel proud of myself.  I know it's silly!

Thank you for bearing with me.  For putting up with my crazy.  For being a clean and tidy man who picks up my very large amount of slack.  I love that we compliment each other and that where I will start a task and stop in the middle you will start and not stop until it is complete.  Our house truly sparkles when it has been cleaned by your hands.  I love that my "live-in-organized-chaos" soul met your "tidy-likes-everything-in-its-place" soul and that we get to live out our version of happily ever after.

Love Always,
Your Procrastinating, Laundry-hating Wife

See that smiling face? Cleaning makes him happy! I wouldn't want to take that from
him, would I?  And yes, he would be sweeping OUTSIDE.  He is insuring there will
not be leaves for people to track inside.  

Burnt Popcorn and Cold Cream

I knew today's challenge topic was going to be a tough one.  There are quite a few things I miss.  The innocence of youth, not knowing what the adult world is really all about, getting to read Harry Potter for the first time, and on and on.  However, those are all incomparable to the people I miss.  I miss my Mimi more than anything else in this world. I would love to have the chance to spend just one more day with her.  Words really can not even express how much I miss her and how often I wish she were around. 

I am currently sitting in the John Wayne Airport.  So in order to avoid an ugly cry in the middle of the terminal I am going to try to share little moments and memories that I miss about her in order to avoid the onset of emotions that will surely be brought to the surface if I share my feelings on the matter of missing her. 

- I miss sitting on her lap.  I sat on her lap until I got so big the weight of me would have probably crushed her tiny little frame.  I think I think I may have been well into middle school and would still wake up after I had spent the night to go and sit on her lap in the living room where I knew she would be sitting and waiting. 


Even in college I would still manage to sit there from time to time; I just supported my own weight. 


- I miss spending the night with her.  My friends still talk to this day about the fact that I would miss some of our weekend FCA (YMCA event) dances just to go spend the night at Mimi's house.  Our routine consisted of going to rent a movie from Blockbuster while we waited for our pizza to be ready at Papa John's.  She would usually give me cash to go in and pick one while she waited in the car.  She would in up coming in because I was taking to long and our pizza was going to be ready.  We would get our pizza, go home and watch Diagnosis Murder while we ate and then put our movie in and pop some popcorn.  It's not often that I burn popcorn but when I do I smile, because Mimi loved burnt popcorn. 

- I miss the way she would always get in the bed smelling like Mimi and cold cream.  I would watch her sit at her vanity taking off her make-up with cold cream.  That smell still comforts me.  When she passed and my mom asked me about what I may want, I chose to take (among other things) her cold cream.  It's Neiman Marcus but I knew just getting any new jar wouldn't work.  Her jar has her smell in their too.  I wore it on my hands on my wedding day and some nights when I can't sleep I will breathe it in (it sits in the top drawer of my bedside table).  Too much? I don't know.  Either way it comforts me.

- I miss that as I got older she seemed to get wiser.  I am assuming she was always wise, I was just finally old enough to embrace it. 

- I miss her shocked expressions by some of the things that would come out of my mouth.  I remember once that if it weren't for the fact that I am attracted to men, I might make a good lesbian because I think it would just be awesome to live with my friends for the rest of my life.  I can still hear her say, "Melanie?!" while she took in a big breath of air.

- I  miss her constantly trying to get me into a dress.  She always wanted me to wear dresses. I never was a dress fan.  Even though she was gone by that point she had a part in picking out my wedding dress (story on that another time).

- I miss just being with her.  I miss visiting her. I miss laying on the floor to shout her name under the door.  When she moved into her retirement community (which I will so be doing when I turn 60 because it is the total hook-up!) she didn't have a doorbell and would sometimes not hear when I knocked.  So I would sprawl out on the floor put my mouth up to the crack under the door and shout "Mimi?! Mimi!! I'm here!". 

Really I just miss life with her.  I wish she could be here as I navigate these adult waters because I know she would have so much to tell me and even if she didn't she would be able to comfort me by just being her.  Ok, I think I am going to have to cut off there.  The lump in my throat is now sufficiently grown quite a few sizes. 

Selling Myself, Any Takers?!

Day 11 of Blog Everyday in May is coming to you live again from just outside Disneyland! Which is good I guess because today's post was originally not going to come through until tomorrow(because I hadn't written this one yet) but now because I am able to post this I am so far on track to link everyday on the day of.  We are about to go explore the California coast.  Is it really bad that I kind of just want to go back to the parks?! I know we have them in Orlando but I just love me some Disney! Plus you get a sneak peek to some Disney pics as I use Jenni's topic to try to sell myself in 10 words or less.  I figured I would go personal ad style and fit it to yesterday's mood (My "personal stylist" told me she would beat me if I ever wore a Disney shirt but I just couldn't resist since we were doing the whole total tourist thing and it was so fitting of me embracing my inner nerd). 

So here is goes- Melanie: Quirky, Book-lovin' Nerd. Who wouldn't want that? Check Me Out! (Not including the name it's 10 words exactly, Bam!)