Last Days

Day 26 is coming to you better late than never. And it is coming to you as I somewhat "break the rules" when I hit publish.  I did find this online, however it is not something I read, it is something I watched. I did have to read about it though before I decided to watch it so I am going to assume that counts. 

That is all I have for you today mainly because if you decide to watch the video it will take you a chunk of time. If you haven't already watched it, please don't let the length of time turn you off. Grab a cup of tea and watch it now or come back and see it later but the hope despite knowing the outcome and the message of this video are things I would have been sad I missed. I actually clicked to start watching it, saw how long it was and decided against it and then I saw how many different people were sharing it and thought what the heck?! I was thankful for every minute of this story and the words that were shared. They are things I need to be more mindful of, especially when I really get to fretting the little things. Just be sure to have the tissues handy.

What A Stranger Says

Day 25 is something someone told us that we will never forget.  

Words? They seem so simple, yet they hold within them immense power.  There is power in them to break a soul and power to bring one out of the deepest pit. They can shine a light or brand us with a label that seems so hard to take off.  

I have been told many things in my life that will always be with me. Words that have had to be forgiven, even if an apology was never offered and words that I have returned to in order to help me through rough patches.  The following story is one of the brighter ones and the first thing that came to my mind when I read this post topic (the fact that it won out over others made me smile).  Too often I remember words that I wish I had never heard.  

These words were told to me a long time ago, back when Ty-man (my nephew who is now 8) was only about two and looked kind of like this... 

Andrew and I had him one night and we all went to dinner at Chili's.  We ate and talked and played.  There was a family sitting in the booth next to us (a man, woman and preteen girl). When they got up to leave the woman walked over to our table and said "Excuse me, but I just wanted to tell you that you are a wonderful mom. You are so patient with him." I think there was some other stuff in there but that first sentence had captured me to the point that most of the other stuff has gotten fuzzy over time.  I am not sure what led her to say that but that was the best compliment anyone could have given me.  Even though he is not mine, and I never know how to approach the "oh thank you but..." when someone tells me what cute kids I have, my young, child-loving, all-I-want-to-be-someday-is-a-mama heart was very blessed by her that night.  I was going on twenty at the time (and probably looked much younger, because this aging thing hadn't caught up to me yet) so she may have just been wanting to give a young mom some praise but hey I will take it.  At that point in my life I had a one track mind.  My plan was to finish school, get married (mainly with the thought of children in mind) and then have children right away. Though life has taught me to slow down and embrace being free for a while and learn to love my husband well, someday I know I will pull from those words when I have an infant crying and a two year old screaming, clinging to my leg and I will find comfort in knowing that somewhere out there is someone who thought of me as able to take it all on.  

Trait-or!

Day 24 of the challenge and I am cringing again! Oh man, my three worst traits? Well, if I must! 

Babe would probably consider my inability to stop taking pictures one of them, notice the expression?! I love playing around with my iPhone camera on car trips because I am still learning how to use this dang thing!! 

I started this morning by asking Babe what he considered my three worst traits.  I knew his first one before he spoke it but since I already talked about sucking at life laundry and cleaning I won't even count that one.  But just a side note, he is currently cleaning the kitchen while I type this because I am a tad behind on catching up with this challenge and emails. Bless him! I did clean my car out this morning though (because you totally wanted to know all that, right?!) Points for me!

His second was my inability to handle change and since I have talked about that in almost every post this challenge I think I will leave that one alone too.  So he lost, he gets no say in my three worst (spoken of today) traits.

Instead I will start with one from my person.  I am not sure if she would say this is my worst one (I will ask her when I see her in a bit) but I know it is one that drives her crazy on occasion. I can't just say things! You see Wally is blunt; like very.  She knows this, she embraces it! Me? I am the exact opposite; I try to embrace it.  I will talk around something for hours and then say, "you know what I mean?" and make her tell me what it is I have been trying to say. Which for the most part she does but sometimes she is just like, "get to the point.  Just say it already!!" I do that when I am nervous, I do it when I tell a story (I can tell some long-winded stories) and I -really!!- do it when I am trying to say something that I am not sure if the words will come out right and I don't want to say the wrong thing and offend/ hurt someone.  I do not like stirring the waters!!  So if these posts ever seem long-winded and don't make much sense (kind of like this paragraph), well, imagine me biting my lip in nervous anticipation ("you know what I mean?!").

Number two would be one I have dubbed myself because it is the one that leaves me hurt the most. I am learning to realize that I am trusting to a fault. I used to think being so trusting was a good thing.  While I still err on the side of believing it is, there are moments where it really trips me up. I used to live with a double pair of rose colored glasses on. The world has made me take off one pair permanently and sometimes I have to put the other pair on the top of my head so that I can see things clearly. It was a hard lesson to learn that some of the people you love the most and are so loyal too just aren't going to be the same for you in return. It stings, it burns and for a while it made me somewhat bitter.  It makes me think it is all me, that I am not worth being loyal too.  I know that is not really the truth, but it just seems that way. The hardest thing is feeling used and knowing that when people were getting something out of you they loved having you around, but that as soon as there was not much more you could give them then they became more like mere acquaintances. I have started to see this as just differences in people, in personalities, not in a bad way but just as the way things are and that is OK. I just have to learn to trust with eyes wide open.

I am also horribly indecisive (my sister reminded me of this one).  This is why you now (kind of) have five worst Melanie traits instead of just three.  It is also why I can never pick where to go to dinner. Please just make the decision for me! I am truly a waiters worst nightmare.  "So which do you think is better? Can I get it with this instead of that?" Then half the time once I have made up my mind I realize I really wanted to other choice and Babe runs them down before they put the order in.  I am sorry (I promise I tip accordingly)! This is not just a food related issue (I spend hours upon hours at Redbox)! It is a life issue! Gah, make up your mind girl!

So now that I have shared some of the nitty gritty and based on reading this back possibly confused the heck out of some of you because I don't think this made much sense, I hope if you are reading this that you have a had a beautiful week.  

Now that we have shared some of our worst traits, think about your three best? Which list seemed easier to come up with?!

Life Lessons from Words and the World

Hang onto your hats folks, it's going to be a bumpy ride! (Lesson #1)

So day 23 and we are sharing things we've learned that school won't teach you.  First off, whoa, loaded topic!  Books, cleverness? Yes, school is meant to teach you those things.  But as Hermione taught me, there are more important things.  However, I feel if I looked closely enough with adult eyes at all the things school can teach you outside of books the list would be quite long. There is a lot of life that goes on within a school campus but my young mind was not mature enough to grasp everything I could  have learned from it. Life is the best teacher and that can be done outside school grounds just as much as in them.  School may be able to teach you some about life, but I don't think it prepares you enough for it.  Especially considering that degree I worked so hard for, I only used about two years and doubt I will use again.

A lot of my life lessons I have learned along the way and many of the have been learned the hard way. I have learned a lot from words.  Or at least they have summed up what I learned and were put into words by someone else that said what I learned better than I could.  So that is where I will start.

"Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn." C.S. Lewis
My experiences have taught me the most. And sometimes they are hardest lessons to learn. They have shaped me and empowered me and will continue to do so, I am sure, until the day I die. In school a lot of my experiences were controlled in a setting where my mistakes couldn't really hurt me that badly.  They don't teach you that the outside world doesn't really work that way.

"I realize that life is risks.  It's acknowledging the past but looking forward.  It's taking a chance that we will make mistakes but believing that we all deserve to be forgiven." Carrie Ryan, The Forest of Hands and Teeth
Our past is a part of us, just as much as our experiences. The risks we take, the chances, they all lead us down one road over another.  We may have to take a u-turn and try again but I believe that I am forgiven.  Even if it only means I have forgiven myself.

"It's never been a perfect world.  It's never going to be. It's going to be hard, and scary and, if you're lucky, wonderful and awe-inspiring.  But you have to push through the bad parts to get to the good." Carrie Ryan, The Dark and Hollow Places
Oh, that perfect world! The one they make you believe is waiting for you once you finish all the schooling they have been force feeding you.  I think this was one of the toughest lessons I have learned.  Life isn't perfect. It is not this immaculate, beautiful fairy tale that they read to you from stories. Life is what you make of it.  There are bad moments; those shall pass.  There are great moments; those will most likely pass too.  The good moments, the content ones?! My hope looking forward is that I see the most of them and find a steadiness in them that continues to make this imperfect world seem just a little brighter.

Life is messy.  It is blessed.  It is human.  We are all imperfect people and we all live in a broken and imperfect place, but there is greatness here.  There is love and beauty and happiness. We can strive for it daily and sometimes we will fail but we go on another day and we embrace it.  Because the messy moments make the pretty ones more beautiful and the beautiful ones give us something to hope for when we are weeding through the mess.

Oh No She Didn't!

Hang in there folks, it's day 22 and I am getting a little feisty! 

When I first read through the list of topics and saw the one for today I cringed. I was thinking “I do not like to rant in public; I do not like to stir the waters.” However, Babe and his ears have heard me rant upon occasion. He suggested I share about my thoughts on taking babies places (because he has gotten ear fulls on some of that business).

I do not currently have children of my own but take claim too many.  Due to the fact that in many ways I already feel like I have had my first child (and then some) I will not be a very cautious first time 'can’t-take-my-baby-anywhere' mama. There are probably places I would be willing to take a baby that would make some new mothers pretty nervous. So when I think that there are certain places children just shouldn’t go I have good reason to believe it might be true that they don’t belong there.  Please, please do not take your newborn (and by newborn I mean umbilical cord and baby acne still not completely gone) to Wet n’ Wild (or any other comparable water park).  If you must (which I don’t see why you would and maybe you can explain to me) then please keep them out of the cesspool that is the lazy river! I don’t even feel that I should put myself in that nasty thing sometimes but I am grown (as in not under three weeks old) and therefore have a choice in said matter.  

I consider it a general rule of mine not to take babies/toddlers into any adult flicks, but I like to think parents know their children and can make their own choice. However, if said baby starts to cry please take them to the lobby! Do not get into a verbal argument with the man who has asked you to please sit down instead of bouncing baby up and down (right in front of him) trying to calm them. Most importantly though, do not take your three year old into Silent Hill at 9 o’clock at night ever!! Come on people, have you seen that movie?! And please, do not then reprimand said child to “hush up and go to sleep” when they start crying because the psycho-demon-things are pouring out of cracks in the screen and the movie goers are screaming.  I might feel the urge to pick up said child, cover their eyes as we exit the theater and cradle them in the lobby until they fall asleep while you finish the movie.  You may think it is crazy that a stranger is picking your child up but I think it is crazy that they are crying and telling you that they are tired and scared and you think that they will be able to just go to sleep in the middle of a movie that could give grown men nightmares! If you are said parent of said child then I apologize for being forward but I was just about to turn around and give you a piece of my mind.  I really wanted to! I gave it to Babe instead after the movie, mainly because I don’t really confront anyone - as I can't even tell the waiter when my food order is wrong - but I know he sure wished I had told you what I had to say instead of him.  So save him the agony next time and just keep your child at home or take them to Mary Poppins, but don’t make me cringe through an entire movie and almost offer to babysit (free of charge) because you needed to see a sub par movie that badly.  

Man I am dating how long I can hold onto some stuff considering when that movie came out but I feel I must speak up in protest for all those little voices that don't want to see demon spawn before they even reach the horrors of middle school! 

Now that I am in rant mood I could probably go into how I will feel in a few weeks when I finish reading HP and The Half-Blood Prince and then re-watch the movie, but I will just save it for another time. However, if anyone tries to argue with me that Harry Potter is a sissy because the movie 'done jacked' the ending all up then I can't make promises on your safety! Stay tuned folks (or don't if you wish to skip that post), I am giving far advanced warning.  

Ok, end rant and breathe! 

Seriously though if anyone out there has some encouragement that I am not alone in this to make me feel better for possibly offending someone that would be a great help.  Anywhere in particular you would not take your kid?