Somebody's Son

I wasn't sure how to go about today's post. I never planned to discuss politics. And for the most part that is not where this will go but it might be in there so if any of this offends you, well, I'm sorry!

This is my "little" brother. He is currently deployed in Afghanistan. He just received a promotion and was made the spotlight for his platoon's Facebook page. They do that occasionally to keep loved ones updated on their soldiers. I could not be more proud of him!! He has truly forged a path for himself far different than any my family would have thought for him but he is making it his own and he is becoming such an amazing man. This post is about him and men and woman like him.

I will never know what it is like to be a soldier. I will never have to know because of people like him who willingly sign up to serve our country. So when, on the day that we have dropped him off to deploy, my mom happens to see a certain bumper sticker on the back of a car in the Cracker Barrel parking lot I may get somewhat offended.  I have seen many a bumper sticker with all kinds of differing opinions. I am all for them! We are all different, we all have our opinions and mine may not be the same as yours and I believe that is ok. We are a free country, formed on differences. However, when your bumper sticker reads "If you support the war, feel free to send your children to the front lines." I may feel a little hurt.  Especially to have my mother see that, on that day, was heartbreaking. She is a little more forth coming with her opinions than me, but on that day I don't think she even knew what to say. It had already been a morning of many tears. Her youngest child just went to the front lines and someones car is practically begging for him to go.

The army was never something discussed with Patrick. My parents were sure that he was going to end up playing golf, coaching golf, doing something golfish.  He is an amazing golfer (and now he is an amazing soldier).  They had tried to send my other brother to military school (the straighten your shiz out kind) but he only lasted a day. That was the last the military was really discussed with any form of connection to my brothers.

Patrick decided on his own that he was going to enlist. He had met a former marine and that is where his story began. Politics was never something very openly discussed in our home, we were allowed to form our own opinions. My parents backgrounds differed from each others in many ways and one side was never promoted or slandered.

When any person chooses to enlist, it is for reasons the resonate with them. Just because someones family may believe in the military and all it stands for doesn't mean that their child will automatically decide to enlist and just because they may not believe in it doesn't mean their child won't. At 18 we are all adults, all legally able to decide our own path in life. My brother chose his. I ask that you not diminish that decision. He is my brother, he is my parents son, he is a young man forming a life for himself and we as people should support that. I choose to stand behind him, not only because he chooses to stand in front but because he is my brother and I love him. If I could change your bumper sticker I would like to have it read, "Whether or not you support the war, that person on the front lines is someones son or daughter."

That man up there in the green will always be this kid to me. The boy who was my bud, the "baby" of the family and the one with a huge heart. He is the man who loves his nieces and nephew like nobody's business and the one who is becoming one of the best and strongest men I know. Please do not wish him harm! He is my brother.

Hot Mess Mamacita

I was at the beach with my family a while back and took the picture below. I had planned to post it earlier but then began the challenge to blog everyday in May and this post just didn't make its way into the mix. So I shall share it with you now, partly because it was already written and I have to be at work by 7:30 and partly because I haven't seen my niece in a couple weeks and am missing her. 

This is my beautiful niece; I call her Lele or, on occasion, mamacita.  This picture was taken at the beach, hair all askew, eyes as red as if she were related to a Cullen, and in great need of a nap.  I absolutely love this picture! One, because I love this little girl with my whole heart but mainly because it represents how truly related we are.

Heaven help us, this child is the exact replica of her mama and me... please pardon me while I take a moment in prayer.

Lord,
Please keep her safe from herself! She is so much like the other women in our family and we were all blessed by Your good hand with just a little bit of 'cray' and impulsiveness.  We have the uncanny knack of always finding that "fine line" and riding it just as long as we can; please keep her toes on this side of it.  Protect her from men with the perfect combination of gorgeous eyes and smooth words.  You know what a disastrous recipe that can be.  Make her strong enough to not be a welcome mat that gets walked all over but hospitable enough to always keep the door unlocked for a friend on a rainy night.  And when I say unlocked, what I really mean is bolted tightly until she has looked through the peephole once said friend has knocked, because while I hope she is trusting I already know she's not stupid.  Thank you for putting a good size brain in her head.  Keep a hand firmly on her shoulder and a guard over her heart.
- Amen

Now that I have a good bit more help on her side I feel a little more at peace.  Man, if she doesn't have it cut out for her though.  I think it is seems like she got all the impulsivity and stubbornness in my soul and the impulsivity and stubbornness in my sisters and they combined to create a firework of independence! She's like the Fourth of July that child - feisty as all get out - but she is also sweet and kind and caring.  She can turn up the charm like a leprechaun on St. Patty's Day and has her Unca' Andrew wrapped around her little finger (ie: "Aunt Mel can I have a lollipop" "No, sorry you may not." Two minutes later... "Aunt Mel?!" And she's peeking around the corner of my bathroom with a sucker in her mouth. I hear Babe shout from the kitchen.  "Lee? I said don't show Aunt Mel". See what I mean?! That so would have been me at her age.) Bless any sweet daughters I may have and help me to keep them from being spoiled to death (Lord, can I please just have one.  I will take all the boys You are willing to give, but just one daughter please?! I am not sure it I can handle any more than that). Thanks!

All Domesticated Like, Just Read My Walls!

My post title has domestic in it... call the presses and alert the news!

I don't know where it came from but this last week had found me with a 'crafty, clothe-my-naked-walls' hair in my rear end. Considering it has been two and half years since we moved in and two and half years since I so much as placed an item on a shelf to look somewhat decorative you should probably not expect too many of these posts.  This mood may have come about because my dear friend Kalee was in town visiting from her new home in Birmingham. She is so good at all that 'planny, arrangey' type stuff and some of it may have rubbed off while she was here. Whatever the reason, since I have been in said mood lately I will share with you my fond little corner! My walls are so happy not to be naked anymore. Come and read them for yourself!!

I finally made the book wreath that I had found the idea for here.  Check Christina out if you want to know how to make it because, well, my step-by-step process talk would give you a whole lotta nothing! I could barely figure out how to roll the cones the right way. It took a handful of tries before Wally (who was helping me) finally figured it out and then a bazillion how-tos for me to finally catch on.  This is what finally began to commence after that tutorial.

It all started with a few ripped out pages. This part was the hardest thing for me to do! You do not rip books around this girl!!  Books are like babies, they need to be treated gently. I can get all kinds of be-nice-to-that-book crazy, but I felt that given the cover and the amount of love this book had seen it was time to be recommissioned for a higher purpose.

And that is when the pile began to grow...

and grow... (plus you can't beat some time with my main man Tim McGraw and the ever wonderful Sandra Bullock)

And grow! Until it was this glorious pile of Harry Potter happiness just waiting to be put together to adorn my wall.  It was actually pretty neat seeing the book piled up on my table like that, with the pages spread out and the cover atop them all.

And then all of those cone pages became this. It took the first movie (The Blind Side) to cone everything and then the second (Bedtime Stories) to get everything glued down properly.  I used a 12 inch wreath instead of 16 because I wasn't sure the book had enough pages to fill the bigger one up. 

Then the next day, in all the remaining crafty steam of the day before, I finally decided to display wedding photos.  And this was born!

I was so happy with myself for these little projects that I did a little jig (or two)! Babe has only been hinting for me to clothe our walls for what seems like years now (maybe because it actually has been).

I also figured I would share with you a lovely sandwich Babe and I ate when we went to dinner at a friends parents one evening. I now dub this sandwich the "Mr. Beaver" in honor of our sweet host (though he did get the idea from a sandwich shop somewhere in St. Pete)!

It is sandwich consisting of grilled tuna steaks, egg salad (made by a sweet friend I call Beave) and avocado. Considering I am not a huge fish eater (though I do love meatier fish such as tuna) and I do not typically like egg salad, I would say anyone should try this sandwich.  You will love it! It is so yummy! I loved each and every last morsel of it.  So, so very delicious!

Now that you have made it through my rant of domesticated, craftiness how has your summer kick-off been? 

Any sandwich ideas you love that I could try out this summer? 

Disney Dreams and Ugly Crys

Day 31 people! We made it!! This challenge was definitely an undertaking. It was a crash course for me in the world of blogging but I have enjoyed it.  It challenged me, opened me and brought me to many great new reads. I have loved following along with so many of you. 

Today we are to share a vivid memory and as I look back through my memory bank I realize that a lot of my big moments get somewhat blurry. I have flashes of vivid moments, some I will always cherish and some that I would rather forget, but for the most part some of the memories get hazy.  My wedding day? A blur! Those moments that have shaped and transformed me seem to have this filter through with which I view them. I think that trying to process all of my surroundings in so many of those moments just became to much for my brain to process and so it compartmentalized them. I can remember a lot of great things about that day but trying to piece it altogether was a process. It if for reasons such as those that I will be forever grateful for cameras. They capture memories and allow us to revisit them in all their vivid glory.  

One day in particular that, while it has its hazy moments too, is most vivid for me would be the day we got engaged. I remember that morning waking up at Animal Kingdom Lodge and knowing yet not knowing at the same time what this day could bring.  I was a wreck of nerves.  It had always been my dream to get engaged at the Magic Kingdom and given the fake out the night before I was assuming this might be the big day. I remember dressing down not wanting to anticipate anything (which in hindsight was dumb dumb because I was a hot and sweaty messy in that shirt but oh well) and leaving the hotel.  We rode the bus to meet my mom at the park so that she could let us in (special pass that only she and my dad can use). She walked halfway down Main Street with us, hugged us both and left (though she didn't want to) and we continued on towards the castle.  And that is when the following began... 

There had been a Photopass man there waiting and called us over to him to ask if we wanted a picture. And then the words began, those I can't really remember but I am sure you can get the gist. All I knew was I have a sweater tied around my waist. My mind says, "you can not have a sweater wrapped around your waist in these pictures!" so I logically untied it a threw it off.  Duh! Because that is so the thought process for a moment like this. 

For some reason I could not unclasp my hands from behind my back. Finally, they decided to unlatch and cooperate so that he could slip the ring onto my finger.  I guess I said yes, that part is kind of blurry. 

At some point I kissed him and there were fireworks. The timing was not planned it was just one of those things. They were part of the show going on at the castle. Those were followed by a street celebration in which they asked any newlyweds or newly engaged couples to come out and dance in the streets. So I did! 

Then we called my mom who came right back. She had wanted to stay and watch because she had her suspicions too but didn't know how to ask Babe if she could stay without me knowing. The following hugs and tears ensued. 

And then I talked to my daddy and that is when the above ugly cry came about. He had known as Andrew had made sure to ask his permission and so we are both crying on the phone.  My mom had not known that he knew, see it is kind of hard to tell her things and still have them stay secrets. 

Then we took some pics and celebrated with this little schemer who was a part of the whole plot.  This is January! She was hiding in the bushes snapping all these pictures and had been waiting for us to show up for two hours.  She is the one who got the Disney Photopass man in on the scheme. 

We then enjoyed our day as a newly engaged couple and sealed the deal with a 'blessing of the rings' from Mickey and Minnie themselves! It was all in all a perfect day and a fabulous memory. Babe had done himself - and my Disney loving heart - good! 

And now I sign off in hopes of seeing many of you on Monday because I will be resting my weary fingers this weekend! Thanks for sticking with me! 

Just Let it Go

I have been avoiding today's post like the plaque. 1.) because I feel like I have the plaque and have been at the doctors and curled up in a ball trying to figure out what be wrong and 2.) because when I first read today's challenge topic my mind said "oh heck to the no!".

Letting go?! React to letting go? How am I supposed to react to letting go?

This moment was so bittersweet. I was happy to be marrying Babe but sad about the realization that though I would always be daddy's little girl, I was having to let go of the part of me that was his and give that to Babe because it was now his turn to care for and protect me.  That had always been my dad's job and I wasn't sure about letting that go.

Letting go has never been an easy thing for me. I couldn't even change my last name and let go of my old one, instead I now have four names instead of three. I liked my name. It was a part of who I was and I felt that dropping any part of my name (either my old middle or my old last) was like dropping the person I was before I got married. That girl is still in here.  She had to learn to adapt to married life but she still lets her voice be heard every now and then (aka all the time).

Letting go can take on so many different contexts and more often than not, having to do it is not something we can prepare for.  Letting go plays into relationships, it plays into life, it plays into death and the list goes on. Letting go is the ultimate goodbye because, though sometimes the things you let go of come back to you, when you are actually in the process of letting go you expect it to be for the final time.

Letting go also plays into forgiveness.  As Oprah said "Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different." Our past is always something we have to eventually let go of and for me one of the hardest things to do. We can remember it and what it taught us, we can forgive the parts that we would rather gloss over, but we must let it go. In letting go of the past I have been able to find forgiveness even when an apology was never offered, or in some cases not needed. I had to forgive God for taking my grandmother before I got married, I had to forgive myself for mistakes I had made and that I finally had to let go of, and I have had to forgive others for hurt caused by being humans living in a world that trips us up all the time. Forgiveness is letting go and knowing that though I probably won't ever forget those things I also won't let them define me. 

I don't know if letting go of things is something that will ever get easier. I think that's ok. Letting go is supposed to be hard. If it isn't then whatever we are letting go off wasn't strong enough to teach us anything and moving on is about learning how to take the things we've had to let go of and learn from them. Letting go is not a giving up, letting go is the acknowledgement that circumstances were given their best shot, that lives were lived and that people were loved.  Sometimes letting go of something is the understanding that we have so much more to give and that what it is that weighs us down keeps us from loving ourselves and those entrusted to us in the fullest way possible. It is in those moments of letting go that we find hope and freedom and empowerment.

Words on a page are so much easier said than done and I know that I can cling to things that I don't want to let go of harder than Charlie hung onto his golden ticket, but today for this moment I vow to let go of the things that hold me and chain me. I will probably have to vow the same tomorrow but I promise myself to let go... just let it go!