Words for Wednesday: A Battle We Can't Lose

I was running late, I debated skipping service. I am glad I didn't. On Sunday at church we wrapped up Romans chapter 7. And it started with these questions...

What names do you try to live up to? 

What names do you carry around like a weight you can't throw off?

As the sister of an addict I took on a lot of them for a very long time. I was the "older brother" before I really realized what that meant. And I carried it around with me like it was something I had to live up to, like it was something I should live up to; at times even something I felt I should be proud. Growing up with an addict, or even just a sibling who causes trouble a lot, there can be that sibling who feels like they have to be the "good kid". That was me. You feel like you have to make up for all the issues that happen along the way. But it only causes more; more issue for you, more issues for everyone. It causes you to walk in a way that is not only unrealistic, but damaging.

When I was growing up I viewed Christianity in the same way I viewed being the sibling of an addict. I viewed it in a "I need to be better and do better, because that is what you are supposed to do" way. And it left me feeling resentful, it left me without relationship... it left me on the outside of my relationship with Jesus and it left me on the outside of my relationship with my brother. It wasn't until I was older, as I really began to actually pour into and explore my walk with God, that I realized that the weight of what I was asking of myself was not only too heavy, but that it was impossible and served no purpose. God didn't want me to act out of a need to please, God wanted me to simply be. To come to Him as I am, to admit to Him the brokenness that hurt my soul and to ask Him to fill in where I couldn't. He wanted me to adore Him as someone who wanted my trust and love more than he wanted my blind "rule-following."

It doesn't mean that I have really changed my ways. I still ultimately try to do good and make the right choices, but for a different reason. For the same reason that loving someone and being loved in return makes us want to be the best version of ourselves. For the reason that when we know we are so deeply Loved and cherished, we want to show our love in return not only with words but with actions.

When I realized the plight of the "older brother" and how lost he was, I broke. And that moment, though I didn't realize it then, was freeing. I was free to let go of the weight of having to be the "good kid" and I was free to build relationships instead of walls. And as my relationship with Jesus (and understanding of what Grace truly means) grew into a personal one, my relationship with my brother did too. Does that mean it was perfect? Does that mean I didn't struggle and grapple with my anger at the choices he made? No, I still did. All the time. But it did mean forgiveness had room to seep in (me for him and him for me). And it meant that I now have moments to be so thankful for after my brother ultimately had his struggle be one that took him from us here. And it also means that I can be so thankful that his struggle didn't truly win. That even though addiction is a horrible, ugly thing, that kills bodies and splits families wide open, it doesn't have the ultimate victory. It isn't the ultimate victory! My brother, with his brokenness and addiction and also his zest for life and huge heart, believed that Jesus came to save him. And Jesus did come to save him. And because of that, Jesus won! My brother's struggle didn't win. My own struggles won't win.

Today would have been my brother's birthday. Today IS my brother's birthday. I hadn't realized that when I first wrote the majority of this piece after Sunday's church sermon with plans to post it today. But I find it to be so ultimately fitting. Today John Wayne is celebrating with Jesus. Today is he having the best birthday party any of us could ever hope to have. Today he is winning at life!!  

The battle won't be easy, it was never promised that it would be. 

But you can approach a battle differently when you know it is one that you can NOT lose. 

And for that, I am thankful. Thankful beyond measure, beyond name, and beyond any need to be anything other than myself.

Photo credit from Summit Church; listen to the whole sermon by Zach Van Dyke here. 

Monday Funday! Fun with Flo!!

Happy Monday Friends! I hope your weekend was full of all things wonderful!

Don't ask why I am standing like a flamingo, my answer would be just as unsure as yours! We just go with it! 

Today is a day of firsts for this little space and I am nervous as all get out! I have never posted videos before (at least not ones of me), but I figured video documenting would be the best (and in my opinion funnest - maybe make that funniest) way to share our new travel trailer journey with you! 

My dream to get a travel trailer evolved into the little beauty that you will see in these videos. Her name is Flo (short for FloRida Reva) and I am so excited for you to meet her. She is quite excited too! Who may not be as excited is sweet Babe. He has learned to embrace this space I call a blog, but he doesn't like to appear on it, or be mentioned, much. You see his love and my love for social media are about as different as our dispositions (which is to say they are very much opposites). And he had refused any videos be taken of himself. However, he also had denied the idea of any sort of travel trailer at first, and well, we see where that got us. But he loves Flo already and is just almost as in love with her as I am. And I am also in love with sneaking him into my videos. I hope you enjoy these little snippets of our time testing out the waters! *Side note- the place we purchased her asks you to stay over at least one night so that they can help walk you through how to use everything and fix anything that may be an issue. It was so great, we stayed two nights!

Hello Flo!! Her Initial Hello (and goodbye)... 

I was smitten from the first moment I met her. We had been looking and searching, hitting up multiple RV dealerships and never feeling "right". If I feel pressured in anyway I will most likely walk away. Lazy Days made us feel right at home and then our sweet dealer stayed until way past closing time, helping us find just the right fit for us. Flo was the final model we looked at (after already having mostly picked another one out) and she was hidden "behind the scenes" in the incoming sell-back bay (her previous owners had already traded her in for a bigger model, after only 6 months). She was just waiting there, especially for us! Yay for the right timing and fit! Our first weekend with her couldn't have been any sweeter! 

 The Mechanics of It All... 

So learning the ins and outs of travel trailer life mostly boiled down to one thing for us, the toilet. Mostly everything else ran pretty self-explanatory, but the toilet, or to be more precise the emptying of it, got somewhat of the best of us. 

*Note- Don't do what we did and think you don't need gloves. We figured we would get some eventually, when we could didn't have to pay the uncharge for buying them from the RV store. "It won't be a big deal the first go round, right?" Just get them! It's not the prettiest of business. I would recommend getting some before you ever even get to the dealership. That was one thing we unfortunately left off the Target stock-up list. Not videoed: The obsessive hand washing that followed. 

**On another note- While I was quite impressed with my idea of flushing out the toilet with clear water in hopes that the tank meter would read correctly, Babe just decided to remind me of the actual flush valve located on the outside of the RV for just that purpose. Of course he decides to tell me that now that the video is done and I am all proud of my ideas (or really my use of Pinterest). 

Don't Forget the Bloopers... 

Oh bless this sweet video! I am somewhat partial to it, mainly because sometimes you just need a good laugh at yourself! This was suppose to entail all the things that went wrong with learning to use FloRida for the first time, however, I think it simply became a montage of things I just couldn't seem to get right. And God love my sweet husband, for a man who doesn't really want any video limelight he sure looks pretty sweet to me; not that I am biased or anything. 

Things I've learned from taking videos for sharing:

*Turn the camera sideways!! Sorry folks!! 

*Be super thankful for sweet workers who are super patient with your excitement and put up with you having your camera out the whole time they are walking you through everything. 

*Be super thankful for your husband who puts up with this same problem many days of his life; it's something were working on! I promise! It goes away a lot more than it used to. 

*Learn more about quality and use your nice camera! Again sorry!! 

I can not wait for all the exciting adventures to come!! First stop, Fort DeSoto and St. Pete! Friday here we come!! 

I loved getting to share these moments with you and I hope you enjoyed them! I hope you can forgive the poor quality! It's all a learning process. I am far more comfortable with still life than movie videos, but it sure was fun! 

And in honor of all the fun and Flo's first videos, I thought it would be fun to link-up together to beat some of the Monday blues. So join me by adding any post that you deem fun enough for "Monday Funday"! Peek around to enjoy the fun with everyone, but otherwise there are no rules, I'm not really huge on those around these parts! 

The Sunday Currently

I am linking up for the Sunday Currently with Lauren over at Siddathornton. I haven't done a Sunday Currently in a while so I figure it was a good way to catch up! And then, in writing this post, realized that this entire edition of my Sunday Currently is brought to you in part by Flo, our newest addition to the family and that sweet little thing you see in the about picture. 

Happy Sunday, y'all!! 

reading: The Nightingale, by Kristin Hannah. I love all her books and this one does not disappoint. I don't typically like period pieces, but this one is really keeping my interest! 

writing: This post and a post for Monday all about Flo. I am including my first blog video along with it and I am nervous! But Flo's excited! 

listening: to Jerrod Niemann's new song, Blue Bandana. That and Wild Child by Kenny Chesney have become some of my newest faves because I feel like they are such a perfect reflection of how my soul feels when I am riding with Flo! 

thinking: about all the new adventures we will be having soon and about our first big Flo-venture that we will be taking this weekend to St. Pete and Fort DeSoto. Any Florida (or even Georgia) friends out there with great ideas for adventures to be had?!

smelling: the hair product that is still lingering from dying my hair last night and dreading the fact that there is just more to come. Folks, I have dyed my hair from a box before many a time and have never had an issue but last night it didn't take. I used a different box than I usually do because it was a on sale (Garnier Nutrisse) and let's just say this time being a girl who always goes for a deal didn't pan out. I even did it twice thinking maybe I had missed spots by accident and ended up with the same results. (note: It has since been redone with Clairol and no more spots!) 

wishing: That it was Friday and that we could already be en route with Flo. I am noticing a trend... Just have adventure on the brain! 

hoping: For the grandest of adventures and less Florida rain for this upcoming weekend!! 

wearing: My cleaning clothes; I had tried to get some cleaning done and let's just say I hopped on here and... 

loving: FloRida Reva! I just don't know what else to go with, I am quite smitten with our new "baby." 

wanting: A warm cup of coffee! But I am trying not to drink caffeine after 3:30 (note: this post was written yesterday around 5pm). Maybe decaf? The fact that I even consider it is crazy! I swore I only drank coffee for the energy, I would never just drink it for the taste. But oh, how that sweet goodness of yummy has grown on me! 

needing: A good burst of energy so that I can actually be the productive person I planned to be today! Alas, I think the rainy afternoon blues have hit me, so I think the clean house will have to wait. 

feeling: tired; tired and excited!! We got 14 days of free camping with our purchase of Flo (thank you Lazy Days) and I am calling to book our very first campground once I am done writing this! Can't wait!! Fingers crossed that there is a corner unit that backs up to the woods! 

clicking: Through some other Sunday currently posts soon! But also trying to learn how to use this iMovie thing. Definitely a lot of clicking involved for sure! Anyone who has it down? I am happy to hear pointers! 

Hoping everyone has a beautiful end to the weekend and a great start to their weeks!! 

Words for Wednesday: The Silent Pull

Source

I found this gem a few months ago and I loved it the moment I saw it. At that point in time my dream of Flo (our new RV) was just that, a pull that was silently drawing me further. I had never pictured myself ever wanting an RV, but with a new found thirst for adventure mixed with the chance for quiet moments, where we could pull away from the world for a bit, a dream started to grow. It grew slowly at first, silently, and then with more passion and voice. And now that dream has become a reality and Flo is currently sitting in my driveway. I leave her each morning with a smile, thinking about all the places we will go and the moments Babe and I will share together. And then when I come home, especially after a long day, she gives me an afternoon burst of excitement and I remember the dream and the journey to make it real. 

Today my hope for you is that you let yourself take a moment to be pulled by what you really love, by the things that bring you joy and renewal. I pray that that silent draw can grow and that you share it with someone and let it tug you onward and that soon you find yourself dreaming of where that love will take you! 

Our first morning with Flo, waiting for her to be serviced at the dealership. 

So what's pulling you currently? 

Welcome Flo!! And our {Current} Top 5 Florida Adventures!!

I think this is now the third post where I mention Flo, but this is her first formal introduction. If you don’t know yet, we bought an RV!! I am in love and all things happy!! Babe has been about ready to tape my mouth shut from all the random song bust-outs (yes she has her own songs) and squeals of delight and anticipation that seem to escape my lips without prompting! We are actually in the car en route to pick her up as we "speak". We get to stay the night, learning all the ins and outs of all things travel trailers, before we bring her home.

Flo is short for FloRida ReVa. She was originally going to just be FloRida, but then I was reminded that this is a rappers name and I wanted to her to be her own true “person”, so I gave her a last name. ReVa is for R.V., but I like that it also sounded like Reba (McEntire), which yes is just another singer, but I have now decided to embrace it. So Flo is a little bit country, a little bit rock-and-roll and apparently a little bit rapper too! She'll grow into it! Can’t wait for you all to get to know her more right along with me!!

Until then I thought I would use this 5 on Friday to share the adventures that spurred in me a love for exploring and ultimately to a desire to hit the open road, which let to Flo.

There will be plenty more adventures to come now that we have her, but here are our

 top 5 budget friendly gas tanks adventures from Orlando 

(most at around1/1.5 hours away).

1). Spooky , Swampy Adventures!

(most suitable for able adults; cost: gas and $5 park fee)

Babe and I are both in agreement that our absolute favorite so far was our very first big Florida adventure. I had planned a little Florida surprises adventure for us and Oliver and Kerri (the bro-in-law and his girlfriend) and so I was the only one who knew where we were going. Our main destination was Spook Hill. It’s a little tourist pit stop destination where you try to park on the road and then your car moves by itself. It’s a little corny, but it works and it’s fun! From Orlando you take the Haines City (Highway 27) exit off of I-4. Following Spook Hill, we explored the orange groves down an old clay road and then looked for a place to go hiking. 

We settled on Lake Kissimmee State Park. There are tons of trails to take and we settled on the 6.7 miles loop. It was quite the adventure that’s for sure! The trail description did mention that there might be spots of standing water. That was a “slight” exaggeration, but I loved the water!! It just made the adventure grander in my opinion. At the first spot of water, the four of us (ok, who am I kidding it was mostly us girls) tried to keep our feet dry by building bridges out of logs. And while we did succeed, this was a futile endeavor. Further into the hike we hit a trail of nothing but mid-calf water which we hiked through for about a half a mile. Let’s just say, if you do decide to take this trail (which I would highly recommend) you should be prepared with shoes you do not care about getting wet. Overall it was a great hike, with a lot of different landscapes, and we loved it!

2.) Lake Apopka Adventures!

(suitable for any age or ability depending on what you do; drive is great for families with small kiddos or elder folks looking for an adventure with AC; cost- gas only)

After reading about the Lake Apopka Wildlife Drive, in an article through the Orlando Sentinel, I planned a full day of exploring for Babe and me. We began the day at the Oakland Nature Preserve, which is really neat because it borders an animal sanctuary and, depending on the day, you might see anything from ostrich to zebra hanging out by the fence along one of the trails. My history buff also enjoyed taking the boardwalk to Lake Apopka, where you read about its history. We then ate lunch at the new brewery in Winter Garden before continuing our explorations. We drove from Winter Garden to the Ferndale Preserve, which had a nice trail, but if you are going to skip any part of this adventure this would probably be the one I would skip. The trail wasn’t well covered and it was hot, plus -though it did offer great views of the lake from up high- you couldn’t get right near the water. There is a really awesome playground though if you have kiddos! There was also a roadside stop we stumbled upon called the Green Mountain Overlook (yup Florida mountains haha) with a great look out tower. We were only there about 5 minutes, but it was a nice little stop (it’s the start to a bike trail for any avid mountain bike riders out there). We then drove from there to our ultimate destination, the Lake Apopka Wildlife Drive. This is a one way drive through a water management system that they are using to try to clean up Lake Apopka. It’s a slow drive, but there are a lot of spots to get out, see things and search for gators! To start our adventure we took the 408 West towards Clermont, but once we reached the Oakland Nature Preserve we spent the entire day on back roads, taking the Florida Scenic Highway and that too added to the charm of the day!

3.) Merritt Island Adventures!!

(great for all ages, something for everyone; cost- gas and $5 park fee per car)

We spent one afternoon exploring the National Seashore at Cape Canaveral/ Merritt Island. There is a lot to do out there that we didn’t know about. They have a great visitors center where a ranger will give you a map and tell you about all there is to see around the area. Our main points of interest were the wildlife drive and the beaches. The drive was nice, though we did see a lot more wildlife on Lake Apopka. We got out a few spots, but mostly just enjoyed the drive together. We opted for the Black Point Wildlife Drive, which is a maintained gravel road and is included in your $5 park fee. There is a free wildlife drive, however that drive is not maintained so there will be more potholes. We can’t wait to go back and try that one! We also went to the manatee area (which is basically the boat ramp) and there were tons of cute “little” sea cows!! We ended our day with a swim in the ocean! I had never been to the beaches there at the National Seashore and it was nice to be in a place with no hotels for as far as the eye could see.

4.) Back to Nature Adventures!

(great for all ages, cost: $5 donation fee per person to see the animals)

While out hunting down more hiking fun Babe and I stumbled upon a place called the Back To Nature Wildlife Refuge, unfortunately it was a Monday and they weren’t open. But we did get to hike at the trails that are on the same road. It is the Split Oak Forest trail at Eagle’s Roost Preserve. It was a really nice hike, but I was most excited to get back the next day with my bestie and peek around the refuge. Back to Nature rescues animals that have either been hurt in nature or by people who think they can turn wild animals into pets. They house them and release them if possible, but it is also home to some sweet friends who will not be able to be released back into the wild. We had a great morning visiting with the critters and taking the short trail out to the lake!

5.) Pancake Adventures!!

(Something for all ages; cost: $5 entrance per car, extra possibilities: pancake house, canoe rentals)
De Leon Springs has a lot to offer, from a playground to a swimming hole, hiking and canoeing, there is something for everyone. But the biggest drawl for me was the pancake house. I had not been since I was a kid and was really excited to try it again and take Babe, Ol and Kerri. While it was a fun experience I doubt we will go back (at least not for the pancakes). There was a long wait (over 1.5 hours), which was perfect because we were able to hike while we waited. The hike was nice, but very buggy (a few ticks too).  The pancakes were a nice treat after a long hike (though there was no ac and it was very warm), but I think we are more of ‘BBQ-after-a-hike’ type people and the pancakes just weren’t cutting it. One major perk was getting to explore the old run down orange factory that sits right outside the entrance to the springs. I do love some old Florida exploring!! 

Bonus: Only cheap with a birthday buddy!!

While these are our top 5 options for being really budget friendly, with most only costing the half a tank of gas it takes to get there and back, I do want to give an honorable mention to Boggy Creek Airboat Rides. I had always wanted to go and recently did and while it was not as thrill seeking as I had thought it would be, it was still a really cool experience. We did the 30 minute ride which was, in my opinion, the perfect amount of time. We got to see a lot and the ride was fun AND a huge perk is that if you go on your birthday it is ABSOLUTELY FREE (for the birthday person)!! Otherwise it's a little less than $30 per person. Great for any age as it's a super safe ride. 

Have a fabulous weekend and I hope you get to spend a little time getting lost!!